Every Change Has an Expiration Date


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I remember my first personal computer; it was a state-of-the-art dual floppy disk PC manufactured by IBM. In order to run spell-check I had to swap one of the disks out to put in the spell-check disk; my recollection is that there were 10 or more disks for the word processing program. The printer required a special Plexiglas hood that was lined with eggshell crate foam to help manage the noise. At the time many office workers were still on electric typewriters or dedicated word processing machines. That was 1983.

In 1990 I bought my own personal laptop; it was an upgraded model with 20 MB of storage. If I still had it today, that laptop wouldn’t even hold one of the photographs I now take with my digital mirrorless 35mm camera. Part of this post was written on a 120 GB iPad while sitting in a park enjoying the sunshine; it was uploaded to the cloud and then downloaded to a PC when I got home.

In 2004, 90% of American households had landlines; today that number is less than 50%. I am old enough to remember the evolution from 78’s, to 33-1/3’s and 45’s (for my younger readers, all forms of musical records); to eight-track and cassette tapes; to CD’s; to the first iPod, which Steve Jobs boasted was “designed to hold 1,000 songs.” Even that feels outdated today.

Every change has an expiration date.

Today most children still grow up thinking they have to choose a career that will be theirs the rest of their lives. The reality is, some of the lines of work that 2016’s high school and college graduates will experience don’t even exist yet. Even those who do select–and remain in–a single career for a lifetime, will hold way more than one job.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average worker currently holds ten different jobs before age forty, and this number is projected to grow. Forrester Research predicts that today’s youngest workers…will hold twelve to fifteen jobs in their lifetime. (“How Many Jobs Will the Average Person Have in His or Her Lifetime?” Scott Marker, LinkedIn. February 22, 2015.)

It’s not just careers or jobs that are changing. Things change “on the job.” Think about almost any line of work…it is most likely changing at revolutionary speed. Manufacturing. Teaching. Sales. Law. Healthcare. Technology. Construction. Agriculture. Transportation. Do a little research over the past 40 years (back to 1976), which is approximately the average length of a working career these days. If you weren’t around “back then,” it will be difficult for you to even imagine what work in that field was like compared to today.

Every change has an expiration date.

Changes in our personal lives have expiration dates as well. Child to teen to adult to elder. Single to married to single or widowed. Student to worker to retired. Childless to parent to grandparent, perhaps to great-grandparent. A home full of children to an empty nest. Within each of these changes there are more changes, some minor and some significant; the honeymoon is not like the first year of marriage, or the fifth, or the twenty-fifth.

Yet we tend to approach changes as if they are permanent, as if “This is it.” As a result:

  • We continue to invest in the old, the outdated, the worn out and expired well after such investments are justified
  • Decisions become harder and harder to make, and even more challenging to execute
  • We find ourselves “frozen in time,” failing to let go of the past, becoming increasingly isolated as we grow more and more distant from both the present and afraid of the future
  • Hours, days, weeks, years are spent talking about–and longing for–a past that cannot return
  • Victors of an earlier day allow themselves to evolve into victims today
  • Once upbeat, vibrant lives grow disengaged, depressed, despondent, desperate

Every change has an expiration date…but not everything in our lives has to change.

Anchors are what provides a sense of stability even in times of turbulent change. I have addressed anchors several times in my posts; Anchors Aweigh talks about them in depth. For many people, their families, lifetime friends, religious or spiritual practices, core values, and beliefs serve as those anchors. I am not sure whether any of these anchor lasts a lifetime without going through its own changes, at least for most of us. But if we can hold on to them, move with their changes and change our relationship to them when the time is right, they will continue to keep us anchored even as other changes in our lives continue to expire.

How do you address the expiration dates of your changes? Do you allow yourself adequate time to define, prepare for, plan, and execute the transitions; do you try to ignore the expirations; or do you try to leap the chasm at the last moment? What anchors move you through the expiration of important changes in your life? Comment below.

Character and Presence: Guest Post by Daryl Conner


daryl-conner-high-resIt is an honor to publish this guest post by Daryl Conner. For more than four decades Daryl has been a thought leader in the field of change management. I have had the good fortune to study and work with Daryl for much of the past 28 years. Over the last five years, he has increasingly turned his attention to the role that character and presence play in the effectiveness of change practitioners and organizational leaders; Conner Academy serves leaders and practitioners seeking to “raise their game” through a focus on character and presence. In this post Daryl discusses character and presence more generally, encouraging us to consider the role our own character and presence plays whether we are leading, facilitating, or otherwise undergoing change.

There is a quote that “eighty percent of life is showing up.” While showing up is certainly important, it has become clear to me through my years of work in the field of change management that how we show up also plays a critical role both in our ability to influence and to lead others, and in how we experience change ourselves. At the root of how each of us shows up are our character and our presence.


Underneath what you do is who you are—not the values you espouse but may not live up to, not the habits you have acquired over the years, and not what you have learned to do or say so others will accept you. Character is what is left after all the trappings and illusions have been stripped away. It is here that your optimum impact resides. Of all the things you can draw on to create leverage with those around you, your true nature, the indigenous core of who you are, is your greatest asset.

  • The term character is impartial; it applies to both positive and negative elements of who we truly are. Your character is comprised of many components. Some promote favorable outcomes; others may not.
    • Positive components might include things such as devotion to serving others, commitment to honesty, and passion for the work.
    • The negative side to a person’s character might reflect such things as self- centeredness, manipulation, insecurity, etc.

Whether it advances or detracts from achieving change aspirations, character is a critical determinant of the value received from your efforts.

  • A positively oriented character brings life to your capabilities.
    • It operates as a filter applied to what we know and how we operate. By screening everything through our character, we infuse our unique state of being into our change work.
    • It is far more than the knowledge and competencies we’ve acquired—it influences how we inform decisions, guide actions, and whether or not we ultimately facilitate successful outcomes.
  • The knowledge and skills we use in executing change are actually neutral. We can employ the same techniques to connect with, or distance ourselves from those we interact with. The same concepts can generate clarity or add to confusion. The spin our character puts on these otherwise agnostic tools of change bends their impact toward either advantageous or adverse outcomes.
  • Character differentiates much more than the skills we use. Others can apply the same concepts and techniques, but no one can duplicate the outcomes we produce when our character interlaces with our words and actions. The secret sauce isn’t in our heads, it’s in our hearts.



A strong character, comprised of mostly positive components, is necessary, but insufficient, to be seen as high impact. Character is your true nature, your essence. As such, it is an internal phenomenon that is accessible only to yourself. Character is imbedded so deep within you that people don’t actually interact with it as much as they do with the presence your character projects. Your interior character needs a “voice” to be expressed to the exterior world. The presence you extend to others is that voice.

Presence is like a force field that you project when you express aspects of who you are. It is the temperament you emit that serves as the conduit through which your character comes. Beyond concepts and techniques, presence is another key pillar in your repertoire. Whenever you attempt to influence someone, you draw on not only what you say and do, but also on this reflection of who you are.

  • Presence is like a subliminal identity signature embedded within your interactions. It might fall into a broad category such as peaceful, hectic, accommodating, demanding, etc., but it also has a unique frequency that, when released, creates an ambient bubble like no other. Whether the exchanges are face-to-face, by phone, through email, or by text, interactions inside your “influence bubble” are distinctive to only you. Whether this bubble engenders a high or low regard for you by others directly affects the amount of influence you can exert.
  • The problem is that all the verbal and non-verbal communications inside this bubble are affected by our presence, yet most people pay little, if any, attention to its impact. We tend to think more about weight, hairstyle, and attire than we thank about our presence.
  • Just as not all aspects of character are conducive to success, presence also contributes to or detracts from whether you achieve your desired outcomes. When you emit a positive presence, it affects others in three ways.
  • People with a powerful, constructive presence are usually seen as having deep and passionate convictions. An effective presence is not a function of superficial façades or manipulated images. It’s an expression of one’s authentic being.
  • Presence brings with it an assuredness noticed by others. They sense when you believe you can and will achieve the change you set out to make.
  • Radiating a convincing presence can have the effect of penetrating the unconscious defenses people sometimes use to guard themselves against new thinking, challenges that appear beyond their reach, or interpretations other than their own.

The combination of definitiveness, self-confidence, and the ability to help people open themselves to new possibilities can have a compelling effect on what is seen as achievable.

When you transmit a clear, persuasive presence, your self-assurance and conviction often become contagious. While others may not agree with everything being stated, they are often drawn to the excitement, intrigue, and enthusiasm that can come from being around someone living their own truth.

Character, Presence, and You

Whether you are a change leader, practitioner, or are otherwise experiencing change; whether the change is professional or personal; showing up is necessary but not sufficient for achieving the greatest possible success. It is not enough to know what the desired outcome is and to have a plan for achieving it. Your character—who you are at the core—and your presence—how you show up—will play a significant role in both the change journey and the outcome.

Advocate Power!


webIf you want to discuss something discretely, who do you talk to? Chances are, it is not the same person as you talk to when you want to “spread the word.”

Advocates have tremendous power in supporting–or undermining–change both at the personal and the organizational level. Millennials rely heavily on advocacy; for them, in many cases the power of their social network is significantly greater than the power of positional authority. Social movements–whether it be civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights, or any other–are all about advocacy. Lobbying carries advocacy into the halls of government.

While social movements and lobbyists are often highly successful in their advocacy, it is a resource that tends to be under-utilized in personal and organizational change. What would it take to make use of advocate power in these circumstances?

Successful advocacy begins with knowing who has influence with whom. Who talks? Who listens? We’re not referring to those that everyone seeks out for the latest gossip. Rather, we want to know who people talk to when they want insights into “what is really going on,” whether a pending change is a good idea or not, etc. Working at the personal level, this is something most of us are in touch with. I remember one client who told me, If I need to bring my dad onboard, I start with my mother. She can influence him in ways I never can do. But, she also doesn’t really talk with a lot of people, so if I want to ‘spread the word,’ I start with my good friend Jake. He talks with everyone, and when he talks, they all listen.

At the organizational level it is often more difficult to know who the advocates are. If your organization uses online communities, these can tell you a great deal. Who are the active participants? How are their posts responded to, and how broad an organizational reach do the responses reflect? Another useful tool is Organizational Network Analysis (ONA), sometimes referred to as Social Network Analysis (SNA). Very often these tools are highly academic in nature, and difficult to use. However, I have found one or two that are easily accessible, and that can provide powerful insights into who the real influencers are in an organization…More often than not, it isn’t who you think.

Some people are strong advocates across the board. Other people may be able to advocate on certain changes, but not on others, or with certain groups of people, but not others. Pay attention to this. Whether the change is personal or organizational, you may need different advocates to help with different stakeholders.

And what do you want them to advocate for?

Historically, many saw the role of advocates as seeking sponsorship of a change. “Mom, can you talk Dad into letting me stay out past curfew?” Or, “Honey, we really do need a new car, and this one…” Or, “If I can convince the boss to let us change how we execute this process we can free up time for some other things.”

But more and more, advocacy is about directly influencing people to make changes, whether personal, organizational, or social. By far the best book I have found on this topic is Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler (the authors of Crucial Conversations). According to the authors,

Influencers do three things better than others. They are clearer about the results they want to achieve and how they will measure them. They focus on a small number of vital behaviors that will help them achieve those results. They overdetermine change by amassing six sources of influence that both motivate and enable the vital behaviors.

The “six sources of influence” the authors reference take the form of a two-by-three matrix that addresses motivation and ability at the personal, social, and structural levels. They provide a number of case studies reflecting how the model has been successfully applied to personal change (e.g. in lowering school drop-out rates), organizational change (e.g. improving workplace safety), and social change (e.g. lowering poverty rates through micro-credit loans). Whenever possible, I advocate the use of their advocacy model. It works!

Do you intentionally use advocacy in your change efforts? How have you harnessed Advocate Power? Comment below.

Commitment is Easy…


iStock_000014440792SmallOr is it?

How long have you been thinking about this change? Analyzing it? Considering the pros and cons? Shaping it in your mind? Assessing what it will take, and how likely that it will work? Maybe you’ve talked it over with a few people, a spouse or best friend, or (if it is a business change), key colleagues and those who report directly to you.  You’ve decided to move forward. You’re committed!

Or are you?

And what about the people who have to make this journey with you?

Let’s take a look at a few key things about commitment.

For as much time as you have spent with this important change maturing in your head, it’s likely that you don’t know what you don’t know. Every big change, whether personal or business, positively or negatively perceived, has a “honeymoon.” You don’t know what you don’t know. The road ahead has unforeseen obstacles. The dream, the fantasy, the “ideal future” isn’t as easy to obtain or to sustain as you imagine it to be. Even if others have told you to expect the surprises, chances are you will still be surprised.

As you learn more, you will be challenged to continue forward–to continue deepening your commitment–or to let go of the change. There will be periods of pessimism as the inevitable challenges surface. There will be mistakes, and some really big mistakes, that will drain resources, confidence, and time. If you are prone to believing in your own infallibility–or even to just projecting that image to others–your self-confidence, and the confidence of others in you, is likely to wane.

Commitment to something new means uncommitting to something old. And, if the change is big it often means uncommitting to something that you have been strongly committed to. Committing to a serious monogamous relationship or marriage? It means letting go of those free-wheeling days (and nights); letting go of the dishes in the sink, books in the oven, Chinese take-out in the fridge kitchen; letting go of the open toothpaste squeezed from the middle; letting go of the dirty clothes strewn around the apartment or the laundry basket overflowing. It may mean letting go of friendships, or professional relationships…it can even mean letting go of family.

As you get older, commitment to something new often means uncommitting to something that you have invested significantly in creating and/or sustaining. At work, it may be the systems, the processes, the structures, perhaps even the products and services on which you have built your reputation. In your personal life it may be your lifestyle, your friends, your leisure activities, or your home.

Commitment requires deep understanding. Each time you learn more, commitment is tested. If it passes, the commitment is strengthened. If the new learning breaks the commitment-building cycle it is time to work at either rebuilding, or to “cut loose.”

Commitment comes in different forms.

Compliance is one way to express commitment. You wear your seatbelt because you don’t want to get a ticket. You “follow orders” because you need the job, or you don’t want to get into a conflict with your boss. You perform your job “by the book” since you’ve seen how that gets others bonuses and promotions. You attend religious services regularly “to keep peace in the family.” You host family Thanksgiving dinner because “it’s become a tradition.” Commitment at this level is externally driven; remove the external driver and you would be doing something different.

Internalized commitment is much stronger. It is self-motivated, self-powered, self-reinforcing. It is also much more difficult to achieve, especially when the change is not one that you have initiated. For this reason, always consider whether the commitment needed for success can be a commitment of compliance, or whether it has to be internalized.

As difficult as commitment is to achieve, it always baffles me how many people assume that others will instantly commit when introduced to a change.

In organizations, the leadership team may take months building their understanding, commitment, and alignment to a change. It continues to strengthen as the project team plans the roll-out, establishing their own commitment to the initiative. Yet when the change reaches the front line the expectation is often that people will readily–and rapidly–let go of the old and fully embrace the new.

In our personal lives the pattern is much the same. Others come to us with changes they have been contemplating (or working on) for extended periods of time; the expectation is often that we will “jump on board.” We, in turn, do the same with others. There are all sorts of rationale given for avoiding earlier conversations. “I wanted to make sure that I was committed myself.” “I had to do the research so I could answer questions.” “I wasn’t sure how people would respond.” Etc. While these may be valid reasons for waiting to enter the conversation, they do not overcome the reality about commitment. It doesn’t just happen. If you get expressions of commitment when you first introduce the new idea, remember, it is only commitment to the idea. Time will tell whether it can and will develop into commitment to the reality.

What lessons have you learned about commitment? What does, and doesn’t, work for you when you in building your own commitment? What works when you are seeking the commitment of others? Comment below.

All Change is Political.



It is a rarely spoken truth. All change is political. Power shifts are an inherent part of every change. As I will discuss below, this is as true at the personal level as it is at the organizational and the social levels.

We know this when we think in terms of national change. Certainly it’s true of political races, whether local, statewide, or national. There is not a broad social movement that doesn’t quickly engage—or scare off—politicians. Politics come into play in school board races, in social club elections, and in community-based organizations. They show up in our religious institutions. Parents attempt to coach their children’s athletic teams, or lead their youth groups, in order to have some control over their children’s experience. Those in power run for re-election to retain power. Those out of power run for election to continue the path of a retiring incumbent, to build on but shift the path, or to put things on a completely different path forward.

In our organizations, we have all heard of “office politics.” Every big change messes with them. While it is rarely, if ever, part of the official planning process, these changes result in power shifts which can be of significant magnitude. One place we often do see acknowledgement of the power dynamics of a change is in the leadership of acquired organizations. While it is not unusual for their contributions to be acknowledged, for a significant payment to be made, and for a place to be found in the new organization, it is unusual for them to remain in that new place any longer than necessary to receive the maximum personal benefit; they no longer have the power—the political influence—they had before the acquisition.

But underneath the surface, politics is hard at work during major organizational change. This often starts in the C-suite, where colleagues are vying for power, often at the expense of the change, and even of the organization they are purporting to serve. Following their leaders’ examples, the politics cascades through the organization as rapidly as (or more rapidly than) the change itself.

But how is personal change political?

During personal change you are taking power, you are giving it up, or you are re-negotiating a power relationship. For example, if you are entering into a committed personal relationship, you are re-negotiating the power dynamic between you and your partner. On the other hand, if your partner is filing to legally end the relationship, you may feel yourself in a powerless position; or, if you are the one filing, you are taking power over the future of the relationship that was not granted to you in the initial negotiation.

Let’s briefly look at a few other examples within the context of changes that recent clients of mine have undertaken.

  • Ron had to let go of some of the power he had over his personal life as he went from being a mid-career professional to a PhD student. The academic calendar and curriculum now control his schedule much more than his prior employment did. He had to establish a new “student budget” with a much lower income. He renegotiated his social relationships, and even recast when he would undertake home projects; he no longer had the same level of freedom (in terms of both time and finances) to do so.
  • Alice had to re-calibrate what it meant to exert leadership power when she was laid off from a high-level global corporate leadership position and become the Executive Director of a small nonprofit. In some ways she became “a bigger fish in a much smaller pond,” but other than Alice and a part-time administrative assistant, her new organization is staffed entirely by volunteers. As a result, her power is now solely based on relationships; she no longer has the power of authority.
  • After getting divorced, Drew left the comfort of self-employment to join a major consulting firm in order to ensure a more stable income. He struggled with the challenge of “maintaining his personal brand” in an environment that demanded conformity. He relinquished control over decisions regarding work hours and travel. At the same time, based on his position he assumed positional power over a number of subordinates.

These changes at the personal level give us much to consider as we look at the role of power and politics in the context of personal, organizational, and social change.

First, to restate, change involves shifts in power dynamics. Whether you initiate the change or it is initiated by others, your life—the power that you have and the way you can execute it—will be different at the end of the change from what it was before the change was initiated. So, the first question to consider is whether a change you are facing (or are involved in) will affect your power, and if so, in what ways.

If the answer to the first question is yes, it is important to spend time with another question. How do you legitimately reclaim power in the face of this change?

Let me tell you how I approach these challenges. This is my perspective; I know it is not shared universally. For social and organizational change, I begin with asking, “What is best for the common good?” If I can answer this question objectively—which is sometimes difficult—I know what I must do. Perhaps it is to resist the change. Perhaps it is to let go of my opposition, and to support it. At the end of the day, if I cannot support an organizational change, then my responsibility is to “get out of the way.”

When I work with organizations, I always encourage them to provide means for people to surface resistance in constructive ways; resistance is an inherent part of major change, not a sign that something is wrong. I also encourage them to offer those who won’t support the change—from the C-suite on down—the opportunity for a “graceful, supported exit.”

Most importantly, the way to reclaim your power in the face of change is to ask yourself whether or not you can actually control—or directly and legitimately influence—the change itself. If yes, then exercise your control and/or influence. If no, reclaim your power by taking charge of your response to the change. That is a power which no one can take away from us unless we allow it, unless we place ourselves in the role of victim.

Finally, if you are leading, planning, or supporting the execution of change, think about the dynamics of politics and power. How will you consciously address them so both the change and the people affected are supported? How will you work to ensure that they don’t undermine success?

What is your experience with politics and power during change? What lessons can you share?


Are They Really Helping You?


iStock_000007716967SmallIt feels good when people agree with you. If feels even better when they say supportive things and offer their encouragement. But when it comes time to carry out a really tough change, are they actually helping?

The answer is, it depends…It depends on whether they are saying what they think you want to hear, or telling you what you need to hear in order to be successful.

Some people set themselves up for failure, surrounding themselves with head-shakers, yes-sayers, make-you-feel-gooders. Those who dare to speak up and say “The emperor has no clothes” are quickly silenced. We see it with business leaders, with politicians, and even with our family and friends. Inevitably their trains go off the tracks; unfortunately, they are not the only ones who suffer in the process.

Most of us are more open to the truth, even when it contains bad news. After all, you don’t want a doctor giving you a clean bill of health because he doesn’t want you to be upset about the illness he has diagnosed.

Unfortunately, all too often friends, family, change practitioners, and peers are less candid. Perhaps they don’t want to upset you, to hurt your feelings, to dim your enthusiasm. But, in their absence of candor they are not helping. In fact, they are putting the change you are working on at risk.

Tell people that you want them to challenge you, and mean it.

Tell them to give you the bad news as well as the good, and don’t shoot the messenger.

Have candid conversations.

Ask tough questions.

Be vulnerable.

Acknowledge your mistakes, and learn from them.

Learn from the mistakes that others have made.

Surround yourself with people who want to help you by being truthful with you. Then encourage them to do so. You will hear the good news, get the encouragement. And, you will hear what you need to hear in order to course-correct, to stay on track, to succeed.

What do you do to ensure that you are hearing what you need to hear?

What’s Stopping You?


AdobeStock_68354316Chances are, you are sitting on a change that you want to make in your life. It may be really big…perhaps a move toward a new career, entering or leaving a personal relationship, selling or buying a home. Or, it may be somewhat smaller…a change of hairstyle, getting a tattoo, or hiring a professional to redo the garden.

What’s stopping you?

That’s not to say that every change we think about should be acted on. In fact, I tend to think toward the other end of the continuum. We should save our change energy for the really important ones, for those changes that are imperatives for us. So, if you are sitting on it, and it doesn’t feel as if it is an imperative, see if you can let it go. Saying no to these ideas–sometimes really good ideas–is necessary to conserve our change energy. Let it go for those things that you have to say yes to.

But what if that change you are sitting on is one that you have to say yes to? And you are still sitting on it? What’s stopping you?

It’s not uncommon for me to work with clients who find themselves “stuck” in this way. They want to move forward with an imperative change, but they don’t know how, or they are uncertain as to what to do to move forward, or they are afraid they might be making a bad decision, or they are uncertain as to whether they will be successful, or…

The reason for moving forward on an imperative is simple. You must.

The  reasons we find for not moving forward are many. They are often strong. And most of them are legitimate.

So, what do you do when there is a change you have to make, and something is stopping you?

The first thing to do is to identify what that something is, or those somethings are. Naming it will help you to find the “antidote” to overcoming it. Don’t do so casually. Really dig deep. For example, at first you might think “I don’t like to take risks.” Ask yourself, “Why?” Take that answer, and ask yourself again, “Why?” Keep going deeper. Go for five “Why” answers if you can. You may end up at that “Don’t take risks” tape that you heard from your parents for your entire childhood and that still replays in your head endlessly. Or, you may find yourself at the memory of a risk you took that ended up badly, perhaps causing significant pain for yourself or others. The antidote may be as simple as using as a mantra Wayne Gretzky’s quote, “I miss 100% of the shots I don’t take.” Or it may mean re-visiting that “risk gone wrong” to see what lessons it has to offer other than “don’t take risks.”

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Depending on the “what” that is stopping you, it may be that family, or friends, or co-workers can assist you in removing the obstacle. Or, it may be that it is more appropriate to get assistance from a therapist, coach, mentor, or religious or spiritual advisor. Be thoughtful in where you seek your support. Remember, you are working to remove an obstacle to progress on a change you have to make, not to reinforcing it.

If the support you seek is through a professional, she or he should be ready to tell you if someone in another profession is more appropriate for you to be working with.

Another way in which you can work to break through whatever is stopping you is to strongly, deeply create your change story. (I provide both an overview and more detailed discussions of doing so in the Create Your Change Story section on my blog.) The process of creating and embodying your change story actually uses the neuroplasticity of the brain to more strongly connect you to that future state. This will increase the pull to “get on the road,” and help motivate you through the tough times including, if need be, moving through whatever is currently stopping you.

Don’t regret not acting on an imperative for change. Dig deep to uncover what is really stopping you, and find the antidote for it. Seek help if needed. And create your change story to help get you on the road.

What do you do when stopped on a change imperative? Comment below.